Trustworthiness

trust

“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.”Lao Tzu

It’s hard for a thinking person to be trusting. Constantly analyzing situations results in a sort of generalized skepticism not conducive to putting your own well-being in the hands of someone else. But a lack of trust in others is a sign of a deeper problem of empathy; if I can’t take a risk with someone, be it trying to advance a relationship or sharing a secret, it’s usually because I can’t see myself in their shoes. Not trusting others can stem from a narcissistic inability to see through the eyes of others.

Just as we want people to trust in us, it’s good to take risks and trust others. The best-case scenario is a long-term meaningful friendship/relationship. The worst-case scenario is you move on to someone else. I’m always surprised how liberating this is, though it is scary. If you’re around people who catalyze your own lack of trustworthiness, find some new people. It’s daunting at first but ultimately far more rewarding than settling.

But by the same token, approaching people with a general cynicism and lack of hope isn’t healthy. I’ve found that cynicism is a vicious cycle, and once you’re in it, very difficult to get out of due to all the layers of contradictions, ironies and insecurities involved.

Trust without expecting to be trusted back. Your non-acknowledgment of trust will lead to a natural attitude and will make you naturally more charismatic and trustworthy than if you were constantly worried about how you were coming across in terms of authenticity. True authenticity– and true trustworthiness– means never questioning your own integrity and remaining true to your convictions.

9 Powerful Ways to Find Enough Time for your Goals

Wouldn’t it be great to have more time? With a few extra hours a week, you could final­ly accom­plish those goals that have been on your list for so long … but your life just seems to get busier and busier.

It doesn’t have to be that way. You can find time to reach your goals – in fact, you already have enough time, you just might not real­ize it.

Here are nine pow­er­ful ways to find more time, start­ing now:

#1: Track Your Time for Sev­er­al Days
Where does your time real­ly go? If you’re not sure, then keep track of your time for a few days. Record what you’re doing in 15 minute inter­vals. You may want to focus par­tic­u­lar­ly on trouble-spots: times of day when you tend to pro­cras­ti­nate.

Look for any time sinks – tasks or activ­i­ties that are tak­ing up a lot more time than you thought. Can you cut down the amount of time you spend on these – or cut them out of your day alto­geth­er?

#2: Break Your Goal into Lit­tle Chunks
If you have a huge goal like “run a marathon” or “write a book”, you’re obvi­ous­ly not going to accom­plish it overnight: it’s going to take months or even years of effort. Big goals can be daunt­ing – but by break­ing them into lit­tle chunks, you make it much eas­i­er to get start­ed and to keep going.

Spend a few min­utes writ­ing down the next five small steps that you need to take to move towards your goal. These might be steps like “find a good train­ing plan” or “buy new train­ers” or “go for a 15-minute jog today” if you want to run a marathon next year.

#3: Real­ize That Even 10 Min­utes is Enough
It’s often easy to put off work­ing on a goal because you don’t have enough time. Sure, you might have 10 min­utes to spare – but you think you need a whole hour or two. Even 10 min­utes, though, is enough to make some progress towards your goal.

Find lit­tle tasks that you can fit into 10 min­utes … you’ll be sur­prised how much they’ll add up over a week or a month! If you’re work­ing on a book, you could spend 10 min­utes brain­storm­ing top­ics, adding to your plan, or even writ­ing a new para­graph of the con­tent.

#4: Block Out a Whole After­noon or Week­end for Your Goal
Of course, it’s not easy to accom­plish your whole goal in daily 10-minute incre­ments: if you want to run a marathon, for instance, you’ll need to train for longer than 10 min­utes at a time. This is when a diary or cal­en­dar becomes a vital tool to help you towards your goal.

Look ahead a few weeks, and see whether you can block out a whole Sat­ur­day after­noon – or even a whole week­end – to spend on your goal. Mark that time now in your diary or cal­en­dar, and don’t let any social events or chores creep into that space.

#5: Get Help from Oth­ers
You don’t have to pur­sue your goal all on your own. Even if you don’t know any­one who can help you in a direct way, with advice or even use­ful equip­ment (per­haps none of your friends have never pur­sued a sim­i­lar goal), you can get peo­ple to help you free up some time.

If you have kids, for instance, how about swap­ping child­care with a friend? That way, you could have a few extra hours each week to focus on your goal.

#6: Use Your Lunch Break
If you’re in the habit of grab­bing lunch at your desk, start using your lunch break to work on your goal. You might not be able to spend the whole hour – but you could at least take 30 min­utes to go for a brisk walk, or to do a lit­tle extra work on your book.

Don’t feel guilty about tak­ing a prop­er break, either (even if your col­leagues don’t tend to). As well as feel­ing good about mak­ing progress toward your goal, you’ll get a much-needed rest from your work – leav­ing you more able to focus on your work dur­ing the after­noon.

#7: Use Your Com­mute
If you nor­mal­ly drive to work, how about lis­ten­ing to an audio book on your jour­ney? Pick some­thing that ties in with your goal (e.g. you might choose a book about writ­ing, or a moti­va­tion­al one to help you stay on track).

If your goal relates to exer­cise, can you walk, jog, or cycle to work? This obvi­ous­ly isn’t prac­ti­cal for every­one – but even if you have a long jour­ney, you could get off the train (or park your car) fur­ther from the office and walk the rest of the way.

#8: Set Your Alarm 20 Min­utes Early
By get­ting up just a lit­tle ear­li­er, you can make time for your goal before all the busy­ness of the day has begun. That might mean 20 min­utes of exer­cis­ing or writ­ing, per­haps before the rest of your fam­i­ly is awake.

If you’re wor­ried about being too tired, try going to bed ear­li­er. Most of us don’t accom­plish any­thing much in the 20 min­utes before bed – where­as when we’re refreshed in the morn­ing, we can get a sur­pris­ing amount done.

#9: Get Bet­ter at Say­ing “No”
One big rea­son why most of us don’t have enough time for our goals is because we say “yes” too often. We take on com­mit­ments that aren’t a good fit for our true aims